DANCE! Straw Hats vs The Witch of Odori Island?
by X-Chick303
Summary: Before arriving in Water 7, the Straw Hats need to restock on supplies. But while on the island, they come across a very thrilled bounty hunter who wants Luffy's head, and the hunter's not-so-thrilled partner. Now the crew has two objectives; keep Luffy from getting caught, and find a way to manage without two of their best fighters, who can't seem to stop... dancing? NO PAIRINGS!
1. Prologue

**I've only gotten into One Piece a few months ago, but I love it all the same! So I wrote this story as a way to get through some writer's block I've encountered in recent days. It'll be in three parts. A prologue, part 1, then part 2.**

**I don't own One Piece, only my respective OCs. This takes place after Skypeia, but before Water 7.**

* * *

If you asked any member of the Straw Hat Pirates what the cause of most of their problems were, they would tell you it was whenever they arrived at a new island. It always happened. They would dock somewhere new, inevitably run into a devil fruit user, and said devil fruit user would find some reason to fight them. Wash, rinse, repeat. Name one time? Let's see, Buggy on the island Luffy met Nami, Smoker in Logue Town, Enel in Skypeia... need I go on?

So why did they think Odori Island would be any different? The world may never know. And as for the events that occurred on this island, they would later be filed under the crew's list of "Stories That'll Be Great to Tell Future Nakama." Except for Sanji and Zoro. This would be filed under their list of "Events We Will Deny Ever Happened."

* * *

The tale began on a day like any other. The crew of the Going Merry, continuing their journey through the Grand Line, had decided to stop on a nearby island to restock on supplies. Their food was especially low, because the previous night Luffy had sleep-walked into the pantry and eaten half their stores. Nami angrily blamed Usopp for this, because at dinner the other night he'd spun a tale about an island made entirely out of food he'd visited when he was four, so it had naturally inspired Luffy's dreams. Luckily, Odori Island had a large port, so they would be able to pick up all the provisions they needed.

"Odori Island!" Luffy sounded out. He was at his usual seat on the Merry's figurehead. "Why do you think they call it that? Do they dance a lot?" **(A/N: Odori means 'dance' in Japanese.)**

Robin looked up from her book. "I've heard about this island. The island was named because of a strange phenomenon that occurred here 70 years ago."

"What strange phenomenon?" Chopper asked, glancing at the port before them.

"According to legend, sailors who landed here would begin to uncontrollably start dancing," she replied. "No one knows what caused it, but every sailor who came here became affected, so some even claimed it was a curse. They would stop eventually, but not before dancing themselves into near exhaustion. Doctors later chalked it up to strange muscles spasms caused by something in the water here. But because of this phenomenon, the island was named Odori Island."

That interested Chopper. A substance that cause dance-like muscle spasms? He'd have to look into that. If it was still happening, maybe he could find a way to cure it.

Luffy, on the other hand, wasn't so captivated. "Oh, so it's a mystery thing."

Robin smiled softly and nodded. "Yes, captain."

"Dancing into exhaustion? That doesn't still happen, does it?" Usopp asked. He could feel a bout of 'I Can't Go On This Island Or I'll Die' disease coming on.

"No, it doesn't. After people settled here permanently, the phenomenon mysteriously stopped. There hasn't been a of case of it since then, so no worries Mr. Longnose."

After that tidbit of information, the crew went back to their morning activities and chores. After about 20 minutes, Nami stepped of the galley, with an always-complying Sanji in tow.

"Okay, listen up!" Nami barked. "Odori Island has a pretty big port, so we should be able get everything we need before we head to Water 7. But _please_ try not to draw attention to yourselves!" This comment was mostly directed at Zoro and Luffy. "I don't know when the log pose is going to set, so I don't want to have to leave because we have the marines at our heels. Got it?"

There was some nodding, but there were also a few disgruntled looks towards Nami's bossiness.

"Who died and made you captain?" Usopp complained.

"No one," she replied, smiling innocently. "But I am the navigator along with being in charge of our money, so I have the power to put you _so_ deep into debt, you'll have to give me your firstborn child to pay it off."

Usopp gulped, and didn't complain further.

"I'll give you my firstborn, Nami-swan~!" Sanji cooed.

"That won't be necessary, Sanji. You always pay me back." She shot a certain napping swordsman a glare. "Unlike some people."

Zoro didn't even so much as open his eyes. "Drop dead, woman."

_He wasn't actually asleep?!_ Nami thought in shock.

This earned Zoro a swift kick in the head from Sanji, which in turn lead into a short scuffle between the two rivals. The fight was quickly put to an end, courtesy of a good skull bashing from Nami's fists. As punishment, Nami placed Zoro on Luffy-watching duty for the rest of the day. With the present situation taken care of, the crew went their separate ways. Nami left to purchase mapping supplies, while Usopp wanted to see if he could find anything in the town's junk shops, and agreed to go with Chopper to check of out what kind of medicinal herbs the port held. Sanji was going to go grocery shopping, and Robin opted to stay on board and watch the ship, claiming she had a book she wanted to finish. As for Luffy...

Well, Luffy was Luffy and he took off before they could finish telling him where their meeting place would be. Grumbling, Zoro went after him, but that didn't do much to inspire confidence in his crewmates. Knowing him, he'd get lost long before he found Luffy.

And it was that little burst typical Luffy new-island-excitement that would incite the domino effect leading into mess they would get into on this island.

* * *

**_Meanwhile, a good distance away from the Going Merry..._**

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Maybe his telescope was broken, or perhaps he was hallucinating. But from the roof of his home, was he actually seeing the Jolly Roger of the Straw Hat Pirates?

"Does that mean Straw Hat Luffy is here on Odori Island?" he asked himself, slipping his telescope into his coat.

He couldn't believe his luck! Straw Hat Luffy, the man who had defeated Buggy the Clown, Don Krieg, and Fishman Arlong. Straw Hat Luffy, who had a bounty of 100 million berris. This was the kind of score bounty hunters like himself could only dream about!

"Perfect!" he chuckled happily. "This is exactly the break I've been waiting for! With 100 million berris, my financial problems are as good as covered." He grinned and stood up. "Watch out, Straw Hat! Kiesau Lathan is on your trail! Wahahahaha- YIKES!"

His triumphant laugh was interrupted by him losing his balance and falling off the roof. He managed to land on a rosebush, though unceremoniously in demeanor. Groaning in pain, he barely noticed a pair of sandals walking toward his head.

"Idiot," a voice sighed. "You were monologuing on the roof again, weren't you? Mom warned you about doing that."

Lathan only groaned.

"Come inside. I'll get the first aid kit, and you can explain what happened."

Lathan didn't register this. He kept right on groaning. "Straw Hat Luffy... I'm coming for you..."

* * *

Elsewhere on Odori Island, Monkey D. Luffy sneezed.


	2. Chapter 1

**I changed my mind. This story will be as many chapters as it takes.**

**I don't own One Piece, only my respective OCs. This takes place after Skypeia, but before Water 7.**

* * *

Nami was getting a little irritated. She already combed through nearly a third of the port, but she hadn't come across anywhere she could pick up mapping supplies.

Nami bit her thumbnail. She hadn't been able to get anything new since that Den Den Mushi delivery guy or whatever he was appeared on their ship, and that was way back when Robin first joined the crew. Arghh, how frustrating! She was going to be the woman who drew a map of the entire world; but how could anyone expect her to do that if she didn't have the adequate materials?

Her expression must have been something else, because not a moment after thinking those thoughts, a fruit vendor called out to her.

"Hey, Miss! You need help with anything?"

The vendor was a young man around Zoro's age, maybe a little older. He was actually kind of cute, though his blonde mohawk was a bit of a turn off. Hey, maybe she could talk him into giving her some discount fruit!

Nami walked to the stand. "Actually, I do need help. You don't happen to know where a girl can buy mapping supplies, do you...?"

"Name's Bequel," the vendor laughed. "But why is a pretty thing like you looking for mapping supplies? You a surveyor?"

"I'm the navigator of my crew's ship, actually. Now, about those mapping supplies?"

"Oh, right." Bequel pointed down the street. "Just head down that, and take the first right you see. There should be a store that can give you everything you need."

"Really? Nami smiled. Now she was getting somewhere. "Thanks."

Bequel nodded. "Don't mention it. One of my regular customers goes there all the time, so I've kinda memorized where it is." He placed his hand on his stand, leaning forward a little. "Hey, maybe when you're done shopping, you and I could go out for a drink. Whaddya say?"

_Seriously?_ Nami thought. _I've known this guy all of 2 minutes and he's already asking me out? Though, if he's buying_... She banished the thought. She was a woman on a mission, and didn't need any detours. Besides, why would she want to go out with anyone who called her a 'pretty thing.' Talk about cliché.

"Sorry, but I'll have to pass," she refused in her nicest voice possible. "My ship's cook really likes me, so I'm afraid if I went out with you, he'd gut you like a fish and serve you to my captain for dinner."

The sad part was, the only lies in that sentence were her being afraid and Sanji serving him to Luffy. Though, gutting him like a fish? Completely plausible.

Bequel took a few steps back. "Whoa, sorry. I do like my guts where they are, so I accept your refusal." He side glanced her. "But next time, you could just say no. Lying is unbecoming of a pretty lady."

Nami frowned, but didn't retort. Without giving the vendor so much as another look, she went marching down the street in the direction he had pointed out earlier. And it wasn't until she turned the corner did she realize she forgot to con some fruit out of him. Dang it!

A minute or two after Nami turned the corner, the easy-going grin on Bequel's face melted away. His expression became serious and calculating.

"That girl..." he whispered to himself. His grin returned, but this one was filled with anger. "Thought she looked familiar."

* * *

"Fish! Fresh fish!"

"Half-off on all produce!"

"You won't find a better deal anywhere else in town!"

Sanji had to admit, he was impressed. The port had a large market and a fantastic selection of food and ingredients, even better than the market back in Logue Town. Much to his delight, he'd been able to put together a list of fish he was going to buy for dinner that night, and tropical fruits he planned to use for Nami-san and Robin-chan's drinks in days to come. All he had to do was find Nami-san, run the list by her, and get the money he needed for his purchases from her.

He smirked, lighting one of his trademark cigarettes. Yup, it was looking out to be a pretty good day. Now, the only thing that would make it perfect would be if he just _happened_ to come across any beautiful women who lived on the island. The place was called Odori Island, right? He could see it now, tall, lithe women dancing around him, sweeping hair unfurled and swinging their long legs around his-

_**BUMP!**_

"Ow!"

In Sanji's daydreaming, he had accidentally ran into someone, sending them both falling to the ground.

"Watch it, curlybrow!" a gruff voice barked. The voice's owner kicked Sanji off and stood up. "People are walking here!"

Hearing the word 'curlybrow,' he immediately shot up and reared his leg back (it was a reflex). But before he could kick the offender, he froze.

"Muh... muh..." he stuttered.

The woman in front of him cocked an eyebrow. "You sick or something? You look like you're about to throw up."

"_MELLORINE_!"

Oh, what luck to run into (literally) such an ethereal beauty on a good day like this! The woman was young, maybe 16 or 17 years old. She had straight sandy blond hair that feel a little ways past her shoulders, and chin-length bangs that framed her lovely face. She regarded him with skeptical blue eyes, as if trying to decide whether or not the man before her was a complete moron. She wore a white wrap skirt and open elbow-sleeved cardigan over a tropical-print bikini, completing the look with a pretty purple flower tucked behind her left ear.

"Who the hell are you calling a mellorine?" she snapped. "Do I look like a cheap dessert to you, pal?"

The only turn off was her voice. It was unusually rough for a young woman, and Sanji couldn't help but think if Zoro had been born a female, that is what he would sound like.

_Crap, did I just try to imagine mosshead as a woman_? he thought. Chills ran down his spine. _Memo to me: bleach brain later_. But for right now, he had other things that desired his attention.

"Oh, my apologies!" he gushed, twirling around the young woman. "Shame on me, for nearly defiling such magnificent beauty with the ground's unworthy soil! I must have died in that fall, or else this gorgeous angel would not be here standing before me!"

The girl sweatdropped. Was this guy for real? "Um, yeah. Whatever. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some errands to run."

She attempted to walk away, but the moment she turned, Sanji was once again in front of her.

"What the-" she began. "How did you get in front of me?!"

"Please, mademoiselle, allow me to make up for such a vile act!" he insisted, his visible eye taking the shape of a heart. "My name is Sanji, and I only live to serve!"

"GET LOST, YOU FREAK!" the girl shouted.

"May I be so humble as to ask your name?"

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

He wasn't, that was evident in of itself. Sanji had a strict code of honor, and he wasn't going to back off until this island angel allowed him to make up for his 'transgressions.'

The woman twitched, then her expression calmed. She sighed. "Oh well, I guess you can't take a hint. If you want do something for me, then- WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!"

Sanji stopped his crooning and turned, ready to defend this island angel with his life. There was nothing behind him but more people and the rest of the market.

_There's nothing-_ He paused. _Wait. Please don't tell me I just fell for the oldest trick in the book._

Sanji swiveled back around, and sure enough, she was gone. He mentally slapped himself. Crap! He could not _believe_ he fell for the old 'make them think there's something behind them' ruse! That was some thing Luffy would do, not him! That was completely uncalled for, why did his island angel do that?

On the other hand,_ maybe_ he had been laying it on a little thick. That was the way he usually acted around Nami-san and Robin-chan, and they were crewmates along with being pretty much used to it. This girl had been a complete stranger, so naturally she would have found him weird and her ditching him could be justified. But hey, what did anyone expect? His love was always like a hurricane, and one did not simply deter an oncoming hurricane!

"Darn it," he sighed. "She never even let me properly apologize."

Then again, she couldn't have gotten far. Maybe he could catch up with her and give her a proper apology, and then he would leave her alone, if that was what she wanted. Sanji took off down the street, hoping he was going in the same direction she had gone.

* * *

Luffy ran down the street, laughing like he was having the time of his life. He was moving so fast he had to keep a hand on Hat to keep it from flying off.

"This place is so COOL!" he hollered. But then again, that volume was normal for him.

Even though he hadn't seen anyone dancing yet, this place was turning out to so awesome! Just a few minutes ago, he had entered a part of the market entirely dedicated to giving away free samples! One of the samples given away was actual Sea King meat, roasted to near perfection. It hadn't been as good what Sanji usually made, but he'd eaten 5 samples before the owner shouted at him to buy something or leave. What a meanie.

"That reminds me, I'm still hungry," Luffy said to himself. Taking a moment to ponder his next course of action, he stopped, took a deep breath, and shouted, "SANJI! FOOD!"

There was no retort of 'wait until lunch, rubber idiot', so that meant his cook wasn't within earshot. Nami had put Sanji on grocery duty, right? So Sanji would have to be back at the market buying ingredients for dinner, and that was where Luffy would find him. Yup. Sounded like a plan.

"... Which way was the market again?"

Luffy turned right, being pretty sure that was the direction he came from. But instead of the market, he found himself maneuvering through a large crowd of people. The islanders milled about, setting up tables and stands. A few of the men were putting together some kind of large tent in a large courtyard next to a hotel. Women and children were hanging chimes, streamers, and other colorful decorations along windows and streetlamps. It looked as if everyone was preparing for some big celebration.

Luffy caught the attention of a muscular old guy carrying a ladder. "Hey, Pops!"

The old guy stopped and glared at the young pirate. "Oi, who're calling 'Pops?' I'll have you know I'm only 54 years old!"

"Why is everyone decorating the town, Pops?" Luffy went on. "Is there gonna be some kind of party?"

The old guy (we'll be calling him 'Pops') twitched, a little miffed he had been ignored. This boy either very rude, or not all that bright. "What, you're visiting this island and you don't even know what tomorrow is?"

"Why, should I? My crew only stopped here to buy meat."

"Tomorrow is the island's annual Dancer's Festival! It's the biggest party on Odori island, and it celebrates the founding of our town."

"Oh, then it _is_ a party!" Luffy laughed. "What do you people do during it? Will there be food?"

Pops nodded. "Oh yes, lots of food. The Dancer's Festival is a huge source of profit for our vendors. As for festivities, there will be games, contests, and of course, the big Island Ball over in that courtyard. There, all the islanders gather together to dance and have a good time with their friends."

"Dancing? So people here _do_ dance a lot! I knew it!" It was then Luffy had an idea. "Hey, will there be singers and musicians at this festival thing?"

"A few, I guess. People need music to dance to, don't they?"

"Perfect! Know if any of them are looking to join a pirate crew? Mine still needs a musician."

Pops started to answer, but paled as he registered Luffy's question. "Y-You're a p-pirate?"

Luffy nodded. "Yup! I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm gonna be king of the pirates!"

"The Pirate King?" Pops dropped his ladder. "You're going after the One Piece?"

"That's right."

Pops shook his head. Of course. Why else would any pirate be crazy enough to sail the Grand Line, except to hunt for that legendary treasure.

"Listen kid, you seem nice, so I'm going to give you a warning," Pops said nervously. "Take your crew and get off the island! It's dangerous for pirates here!"

Luffy frowned and cocked his head. "Huh, why's that? There a marine base here or something?"

"There's not a base, though we do get marine ships here from time to time. But that's not why it's dangerous here!" He began to shake. "If you guys are pirates, then there's a good chance _Calypso_ will take notice of you." He said the name as if it were something horrible.

"Calypso?"

"She's a witch who lives here on the island, only her home is in the forest instead of here in town."

"A witch? A _real_ witch?" Luffy was excited. He'd never seen a witch before! Well, except for that old lady Chopper used to live with, only he wasn't sure if she really counted considering she helped save Nami. "With a broom and warty nose and everything?"

Pops shook his head. "No, actually. I've never seen her myself, but I've heard Calypso is very beautiful."

Luffy deflated. "Aw. I wanted to see an ugly witch." He crossed his arms, confused. "But why is she dangerous to my crew?"

"Legend says that whenever a pirate arrives in our port, Calypso leaves her forest home, followed by her familiar, a large black mountain cat. She will then attack the pirates, placing the Dancing Curse of them."

"Dancing curse?" Luffy didn't know why, but that sounded familiar.

"The pirates will lose control of their own bodies and movements, being forced to dance uncontrollably until they either pass out from exhaustion... or they die. So far, I don't think the latter has happened yet, but it's only a matter of time."

"... Ladder? Like the one you dropped a minute ago?"

"You dolt! Not ladder, _latter_! L-A-T-T-E-R. I meant the dying part hasn't happened yet."

"Oh, okay. Why didn't you say so?"

"I just did!" Pops groaned. "Just listen, alright? I understand some pirates aren't all that bad, like Whitebeard or Red Hair. But Calypso doesn't make such a differentiation. She will attack you, and then turn you over to the marines if you don't escape first!"

"If she only attacks pirates and hasn't killed anyone, why are you scared of her?" Luffy asked, taking an odd note of seriousness. "Wouldn't that make her the good guy?"

"Because it's not just pirates!" Pops shouted. "10 years ago, word got around she attacked a group of kids for no reason. She will also sometimes attack other villagers. Because of this, we live in constant fear of her!" He began to shiver again. "It's never happened to me, but I can imagine what it's like. To suddenly lose control of your body... unable to stop your movements... it's horrible!"

"Was she the one who was attacking sailors 70 years ago?" Luffy asked suddenly.

Pops was surprised. "You know that legend?"

"Just remembered it. My friend Robin was talking about it earlier. And something about muscle spams."

"You mean spasms?"

"Yeah, that."

"I don't think so," Pops replied. "I've heard Calypso is a relatively young woman, but she's also a witch, so who knows?" He bent over and picked up his ladder. "Once again, I urge you to leave. You're a nice boy, and ambitious to boot. I'd hate to see such great potential cut short."

Once he had a solid grip on his ladder, Pops turned and went about his business. And Luffy was left standing alone on the sidewalk, contemplating everything he had just heard. He was on an island, there was going to be a dancing festival, the festival going to have meat, he might get a musician, and there was apparently a witch who lived in the woods here and hated pirates. If he wanted to avoid being forced to dance uncontrollably, it would be better if his crew just left.

"Well, too bad!" Luffy announced out loud, causing several islanders to stare at him. "We came here to buy meat, and we're not leaving until we get some!"

Speaking of which, he still needed to find Sanji. Without so much as a second thought, Luffy went charging in a random direction, shouting for his cook to come and make him some food.

* * *

Once Luffy was out of sight, the person who had been following him this entire time stepped out from behind a wall.

"Dang, that guy is fast," Lathan whispered in awe. "And not that smart. Is he really worth 100 million?"

He double-checked the bounty poster. No doubt about it. 'Monkey D. Luffy, Wanted Dead or Alive, 100 million berris.' The boy may seem like an idiot, but Lathan knew that underestimating an opponent is what usually gets a bounty hunter killed. And he had no intentions of dying. Now when he had people counting on him.

"Okay!" he declared, tossing the poster. "Enough moping! We have a bounty to collect, right Cal?" There was no answer. "Cal?"

He looked frantically from side to side. But it was clear; Cal was not there.

"Darn it, Cal!" he shouted, pulling at this hair. "What have I said about wandering off?! Why do you always do this?!"

Judging off previous experience, he knew where Cal would have run off to when boredom took over. Lathan took off down the road, and soon found himself passing the old man Straw Hat had been talking to. He stopped running.

"Hey, Pops."

Pops stopped as well and grunted. "Why does everyone call me 'Pops'? I'm not-"

Lathan stepped forward and grabbed the old man by the shirt, pressing him against a lamp post. "I heard you talking about Calypso to Straw Hat."

Pops gulped. "Uh y-yes, I was. W-why, you want to know a-about the witch too?"

"Listen up, old man. I'm only to say this once," Lathan snarled. It was feral, making him sound more like an animal than a person. "You ever call Calypso a witch again, I won't be held responsible for my actions. Got it?"

Pops nodded furiously.

"Good." Lathan dropped him. and turned away, losing his anger and crossing his arms."Now, what was I doing again?"

Oh yeah, he had to find Cal and capture Straw Hat. His objectives now in sight, he turned tail and ran back to the shopping and market area. If anything, that was where Cal and Straw Hat were going to be.


	3. Chapter 2

**I don't own One Piece, only my respective OCs. This takes place after Skypeia, but before Water 7. **

**Just to remind you, there will be no pairings in this story. Especially not with my OCs. I don't do that kind of thing.**

* * *

The door to the little shop set off a round of pleasant chiming sounds when Nami opened the door. She was pretty sure this was the place Bequel was talking about, and upon entering she was happy to see she was right. The shelves held paper, pens, compasses (the math kind, anyway. Navigational ones didn't work on the Grand Line), and just about everything a navigator needed in her profession. That fruit vendor may have been a tool, but he sure knew how to help a girl out with her shopping.

Nami walked up to the front counter and tapped a little bell for service. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

Who Nami assumed to be the store's owner immediately walked up to the register from a back room. The owner was a pleasant looking old woman in a frumpy flower-print dress and a gray shawl.

"Hello, welcome to _Sea Quests_, the shop for all your adventuring needs!" she greeted chipperly. "What can I do for you today, honey?"

"I need some durable map paper," Nami said, leaning on the counter. "The kind that's water resistant and won't tear easily. And if you have water proof ink as well, that'd be great."

"Oh yes, we have a fine selection of paper here," the lady replied. "The ink is on that shelf to your left. The paper is in that room in the back. Look around as much as you want."

Nami thanked the lady, and began to browse the shelves. First up, the ink. Much to her satisfaction, the little shop carried her favorite brand of map ink. Truthfully, she wouldn't have even needed to buy more if her last bottle hadn't mysteriously gone missing. (She suspected Usopp took it, though. During their last fight with the marines, he'd unveiled a new type of ammo called _Ink Star_, which failed rather epically. It only succeeded in painting the crews' clothing black.) She went ahead and left the bottle by the register before going to look at the paper. She had to admit, the shop had a good selection despite being so small. Now, taking into account her crew's antics and any dangerous adventures they would inevitably get into in the near future, what would be best...?

Then it caught her eye. A stack of white, pristine, _beautiful_ map paper, sitting peacefully of the room shelf. She slid a sheet out, testing it. Yup, there was no doubt about it. This paper was the exact same kind she'd bought from that salesman right before they arrived at Zenny's island. And that had been some really good paper! What were the odds she'd find it here?

Nami's thoughts of excitement were soon interrupted by another bout of chiming from the shop's front door.

"Hello, welcome to _Sea Quests_, the shop for all-" the shop lady began, but suddenly stopped. "Oh, it's_ you_. What do_ you_ want?"

Nami almost did a double take. Why was the lady being so rude to a customer?

"Keep your hair on, granny," a rough female voice replied. "I'm only here to pick up my order. Has it arrived yet?"

The shop lady made a huffing sound. "Yes, it is. It's in the back on the middle shelf. Just take it and leave."

"Happy to know I'm a valued customer."

The girl entered the back room Nami was in. She was a blond girl about her age, wearing a cardigan and wrap skirt over a bikini, and a purple flower tucked behind her ear. She would have been very pretty if her mouth wasn't twisted into a permanent frown. Blondie glanced around the room, before landing her line of sight on a stack of paper.

_Nami's_ stack of paper.

"Huh," Blondie said. "Didn't know the old hag had hired help. If you would be so kind as to give me my order, I'll be on my way."

"I'm sorry, but I don't work here," Nami said, giving the girl a derisive smirk. "I'm a customer, the same as you. And you'll have to get in line, cause I saw this map paper first."

Blondie crossed her arms. "I prepaid for that, so technically, it's already mine. I've been waiting for that to come in for a month, and I don't intend to wait any longer. Now hand it over, girly."

"It's yours?" Nami asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't see your name on it."

Yes, that was a bit childish, but Nami really, _really_ wanted that paper. But to her surprise, Blondie stepped forward, grabbed the stack of paper, and held it up. On it was a sticky note on it the read 'Callie's Order.'

"You were saying?" 'Callie' said smugly, the corner of her lips twitching.

_Okay, round one goes to her_, Nami thought begrudgingly. "Alright, I'm a reasonable woman. How about I buy it off you? I have 100,000 berris on me right now, so how much do you want?"

Callie crossed her arms. "Yeah right. You won't give me a single berri. You're a cheapskate."

"How would you know that?"

"You just have that look on you. That one that says 'I'm going to charge you through the nose, and enjoy every minute of it.' You'd only be more obvious if you carried a sign that declared you're greedy as hell."

A vein throbbed heavily on Nami's brow. "Oh really? And everything about you screams, 'I have low self esteem.' Honestly, put a real shirt on! No guy wants to see you walk around in a swimsuit."

"Maybe they do want to," Callie argued. "Better me than some skinny tangerine head, anyway."

"If I'm Tangerine Head, then I guess that makes you Miss Guy Voice, eh?"

"I do not have a guy's voice!"

"Do too! If my friend Zoro was born a lady, you'd be what he'd sound like!"

"Miser!"

"Hussy!"

"Mikan-Brain!"

"She-Man!"

It was upon the trade of insults that Nami had a revelation; this was what Zoro and Sanji went through daily. She had finally met someone she disliked on principle, and was now fighting with her over something as stupid as paper. Heck, it wasn't even about the paper anymore. They insulting each other for the sake of insulting each other. How did she ever fall so low?

For a moment, Callie looked like she was going to hit the navigator. Instead, she bit back a snort, before breaking out into a long laugh. She wasn't angry, she was _amused_.

Nami blinked in confusion. "What's so funny?"

"Niyahahahaha!" Callie laughed, wiping an imaginary tear from her eye. "Man, I haven't anyone to trade decent insults with in ages! Everybody in town is usually too busy hating me to talk." She placed a firm hand on Nami's shoulder. "I like you, Tangerine Head. Name's Callie, but you already knew that. What's yours?"

Nami removed the hand. "My name is Nami. So, you were being rude just to see if I fought back?"

"Nah, I really was insulting you. I can be kind of a jerk." Callie held up the paper. "But I'm also a woman of compromise. How about I give you half the lot, free of charge?"

"Seriously? After all that?"

"Why not? It's not like I need it personally. It was going to be a gift for someone's birthday, but he'll survive without the entire stack."

Nami reached slowly for the half Callie held out, then quickly snatched it away. It was less than what she wanted, but she was going to call this one a victory.

Callie leaned on one of the shelves. "So, are you a navigator? I noticed the log pose when I walked in here."

"Huh? Oh, yes, I am. I'm the navigator on my crew's ship," Nami nodded. She held up her wrist. "Speaking of the log pose, do you know how long it takes to set here?"

"Depends. When did you get in?"

"About 8 this morning."

"Then it should be all ready to go at eight'o'clock the day after tomorrow. Odori Island doesn't have a really long set time like other places, but it's still a bit of a wait since it's so out of the way."

Nami pursed her lips. "Hmm. That's a bit longer than what I was hoping for. We really need to get to Water 7..."

"Why?" Callie asked. "Something wrong with your ship?"

Nami choked on her own saliva. How the _heck_ did _she_ know that? They'd only decided to go after talking to Kokoro the other day.

"Water 7 is famous for its shipwrights," Callie clarified once she saw Nami's expression. "Why else would a crew go there? Oh, and your face is gonna freeze like that."

Nami shook off her shocked expression. "Whatever. I guess I'd better pay for my ink and head back to the Going Merry. I need to tell my crew we'll be here for a few days."

"If you have to get stuck here, you picked a good time to do it," Callie said. "There's a big festival in town tomorrow. I haven't attended it in awhile myself, but I remember it's a lot of fun."

"A party, great," Nami sighed halfheartedly. "That's the last thing those morons need. An excuse to act even more crazy."

"I take it your crew causes you to have a few gray hairs?"

"It's not their fault. They're just idiots. I love them and they're my friends, but sometimes I wish..."

"You could set them on fire?"

"I was going to say I wish they'd wisen up, but I guess that works too."

"Believe me, I can relate," Callie said with a note of sympathy. "I have my own idiot to worry about. I love him but sometimes..."

"You want to set him on fire?" Nami echoed.

"In a nutshell, yeah."

Nami giggled. Who would've thought she would find a kindred spirit on this island? Maybe she could convince Callie to come back to the Going Merry and meet Robin, and they could talk about all the idiots in their lives. It'd be nice to have another female to talk to. But all too soon, Nami's thoughts were interrupted.

"CAL!" a deep, screeching voice hollered from outside the store. "CAL, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! YOU NEED TO STOP RUNNING OFF, IT'S ANNOYING!"

Nami covered her ears. "Who is _that_?"

"_That,_" Callie sighed, "would be my idiot." She took a deep breath, shouting, "SHUT UP, I'M COMING, YOU NINNY! WHAT ARE YOU, MY JAILER?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A NINNY?"

"WHO _ELSE_ WOULD I BE CALLING A NINNY?"

"GOOD POINT!"

"STOP SHOUTING, YOU'RE CAUSING A SCENE!"

"YOU'RE SHOUTING TOO! YOU STOP!"

Nami grit her teeth and bopped Callie on the head. "How about you_ both_ stop before you make my ears _bleed_?!"

Callie rubbed the newly formed bump on her noggin. Judging by how quickly it formed, Nami had a lot of practice doing this. Her smile once again a perpetual frown, Callie slipped her half of the map paper into her handbag and exited the shop's back room.

"See you later, Nami." Callie waved her hand without looking back. "Maybe we'll run into each other again soon."

Callie left the shop, the shopkeeper shooting her a dirty look the entire time. It wasn't until Nami stepped up to the counter that she became all smiles again.

"Alright honey, did you find everything you needed?" the shop lady asked sweetly.

Nami nodded, payed for her ink, and left as quickly as possible. That old woman was just being too weird for comfort right now and she wanted out. By the time she left the store, Callie and whoever had been the second member of the screaming match were gone. A shame, really. If she had stuck around, Nami would have invited her back to the ship for some of Sanji's pastries. Oh well, too late now. Nami continued her trek through the village streets, not giving the angry blonde girl another thought. And speaking of Sanji, Nami wondered if he was done scouting the market yet.

* * *

Sanji hefted a sneeze.

_Somebody's either thinking or talking about me_, he thought, rubbing his nose. _It better not be mosshead. I hope it's Nami-san, or Robin-chan. Oooh, or even my elusive island angel_!

So far, his search for the angelic girl he'd run into had turned up nil. But he wasn't a man to give up so he searched on. He'd even gone as far as giving her description to some of the villagers, in hope one of them knew her. The only results he got from that was either shrug or a really cold stare. Sanji didn't want to disobey Nami-san and get one of them thrown off the island, so he stopped asking. Now he was back to where he started, searching on foot. He had only gone about another 200 feet or so before something went ramming into him.

"Sanji! I'm _hungry_!"

Of course it was Luffy. Who would else would be looking for him so close to lunch time? The force of Luffy's impact sent both men tumbling into a nearby brick wall, leaving a nice sized crater in it. Luckily, neither of them were hurt, but Sanji did have the wind knocked out of him.

He kicked his idiot captain in the head. "For crying out loud, Luffy! You could try warning me before you do that!"

"But I called your name, didn't I?" Luffy replied, not in the least hurt by the kick. Oh, the joys of being a rubberman.

"It doesn't count if you call it _after_ you slam into me, moron!" Sanji yelled.

Luffy took a moment to process this.

"I'm hungry. I want some meat."

"Are you even listening to me?!"

Whoa, déjà vu. Now Sanji could see where that girl was coming from. He sighed. "Look, I'll find Nami-san, get the money to buy my groceries, and _then_ I'll feed you. But for now, I have something I need to take care of. Maybe you can help me. Have you seen a blond girl with a purple flower in her hair anywhere today?"

Luffy's finger was now excavating his nasal cavity. "Nope."

Figures.

"Oh, but I did hear something cool!" Luffy went, removing his finger. "Some old guy told me there's a witch to lives on this island that hates pirates!"

"A witch?" Sanji repeated. "What, like that old hag Chopper used to live with?"

"Nope. Pops said she was young and beautiful or something." Luffy sound disappointed.

A young, beautiful witch? An image blossomed into Sanji's mind. Long, silky black hair, a tapered hand delicately holding a thin pipe in her fingers, her silk kimono leaving little to the imagination*****...

"Did the old guy tell you where this witch lived?"

"I don't know. She's not an ugly witch, so that means she's boring."

Sanji ignored his captain, instead twirling around in a lovesick stupor. "Oh, if this witch truly is beautiful, then she may cast any kind of spell on me that she wishes! And I wouldn't mind if she turned that crappy swordsman into a frog either." He stopped twirling. "Hold on. Wasn't Zoro supposed to be watching you? Where is he?"

"Zoro was supposed to be watching me?" Luffy asked, cocking his head.

Sanji resisted the urge to facepalm. "Brilliant. Knowing the mosshead, he's probably on the other side of the Grand Line by now. I guess we'd better-"

"Wow, who knew the other side of the Grand Line was full of idiots."

Sanji jumped a foot in the air, and whirled around to see Zoro, who was crossing his arms and looking quite pleased with himself.

"Sanji, I found Zoro!" Luffy declared, pointing at his right-hand man.

"You were the ones who were lost. _I_ found _you_," Zoro corrected, oblivious as always _he_ had been the one who was lost.

"Whatever," Sanji grunted. "Thanks for almost giving me a heart attack, mosshead."

"Not my fault you were scared, love cook."

"I wasn't scared! You just surprised me, that's all."

"Leave the lies to Usopp. At least he makes an effort."

"You want to die, crappy swordsman?!"

"Bring it on, dartboard!"

"Shishishishi!" Luffy chuckled at his arguing crewmates. "You guys are weird!"

"WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM _YOU_!"

The two men began to chew out their rubbery captain, who just kept on laughing at their supposed 'weirdness.' They got so wrapped in their argument that they barely noticed when someone loudly cleared his throat to get their attention. They chose to ignore it, and didn't respond until they heard the person shout.

"Hey! Don't pretend I'm not here!"

The three pirates turned to see who was so adamant for their attention. It was a muscular young man in his 20s, with shaggy black hair and annoyed blue eyes. He wore a red bandanna, like Zoro's, a long brown coat with quarter sleeves, baggy pants secured with a belt, and boots that were probably marine surplus. For whatever reason, he had forgone wearing a shirt, and wore a single gold hoop on his right ear.

"You ladies done chatting?" he asked, tapping his foot impatiently. "Because I've been standing here waiting for at least five minutes now, and I'm not what you'd call a patient man."

"And who are you exactly?" Sanji asked, raising an eyebrow. This guy looked familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"What?! You mean you haven't heard of me?!" He sounded genuinely shocked. "My name is Kiesau Lathan, and I have to say, I'm pretty famous around here!"

At that proclamation, some of the villagers stopped to look at Lathan. They all gained deadpan expressions.

"It's him again," one woman muttered.

"Let's clear out before he destroys something," a man agreed.

One minute later, the street was completely devoid of people, save for the three Strawhats and Lathan. Sanji and Zoro shot him deadpan looks as well.

"Famous, huh?" Zoro asked.

Lathan rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay, maybe not _that_ famous..."

Luffy, on the other hand, waved his arms up and down in excitement. "Cool! You really are famous! I can't believe I'm meeting a real live famous person!"

"You do realize_ you're_ a famous pirate, right?" Lathan asked, sweatdropping. He shook his head. "Never mind. Anyways, I have to say Strawhat, you're a hard guy to follow. I've already lost sight of you twice today, but I have you now."

"Oh great," Zoro grumbled, placing his hand on his swords. "This guy's a bounty hunter."

"Huh? How'd you you know that?" He looked a little creeped out. "Are you... psychic?"

"No. Luffy's wanted poster is sticking out of your front pocket."

"Oh."

Zoro rolled his eyes. It seemed that lately, most of the bounty hunters they faced were completely brainless. But still, he wasn't going to underestimate guy based off his appearance. He didn't know why, but he could sense something... _wild_ beneath the surface that he didn't like.

"You realize you just challenged the Strawhat Pirates' two best fighters- and Zoro- right?" Sanji ground out, tapping the toe of his foot threateningly. Zoro shot him a dirty look, but he ignored it. "Can't guarantee you'll survive this."

"Hey, hey, hey, take it easy!" Lathan said, bewildered. "I don't want to fight you two, I just want to fight Strawhat! You two can leave! Besides, even if I did want to fight you, don't you think three against one is a little unfair?"

Chances were it _was_ unfair, but Sanji and Zoro didn't really care. This guy was an idiot, and beating on idiots was something that had gained a lot of practice in doing ever since they became pirates.

Luffy stepped forward, adjusting his hat. "It's okay guys, I don't mind fighting him. He looks strong."

"How do_ you_ know I'm strong?!" Lathan demanded. He gasped. "You're the psychic one, aren't you!"

"STOP ACCUSING PEOPLE OF BEING PSYCHIC!" Zoro and Sanji shouted in unison.

"Nah, I'm not psycho or whatever," Luffy replied. He crossed his arms. "I just know. But Sanji and Zoro want to fight too, so you better have somebody with you."

Lathan nodded. He had the foresight to have an opponent ready for his crewmates in the case they tried to help their captain. "As a matter of fact, I do." He gestured boldly to an alley to his right. "I will now introduce to you the overwhelming power of my fellow bounty hunter and lovely assistant, _Cal_!"

If he was expecting someone to exit dramatically from the alley, he was sorely disappointed. He was still alone in front the Straw Hats' monster trio. He stood there for a good 3 minutes before chuckling nervously.

"Would you guys... hold on for a second? I'll be right back." Lathan then turned furiously on his heel before marching into the alley.

Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji remained where they were, trying to understand what just happened. Or, more accurately, what _didn't_ happen.

Luffy looked at Sanji. "So... can I have meat now?"

Sanji bonked him on the head. "Can't you think of anything else? Like, for example, the battle you just got yourself into?"

"What about this person who's going to fight us?" Zoro wondered aloud. "Is he even going to show up?"

"CAL, YOU PROMISED!"

The Straw Hats jerked to attention. The hollering came from the alley Lathan just entered.

"FORGET IT!" a irritable voice responded. "IF YOU WANT TO PLAY BOUNTY HUNTER, THAT'S FINE, BUT KEEP ME OUT OF IT!"

"I DO NOT _PLAY_ BOUNTY HUNTER, CAL!"

"STOP CALLING ME 'CAL!' AND STOP SHOUTING! YOU'RE MAKING ANOTHER SCENE!"

"They're both making a scene," Zoro deadpanned with a sweatdrop.

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed. "Geez, they're so noisy! They sound like they'd a lot of fun to be around!"

Zoro rolled his eyes, but smirked at his captain's remark in agreement.

Sanji, on the other hand, gasped. "I recognize that oddly masculine girl's voice!"

"JUST DO IT!" Lathan screeched. "OR I'M TELLING MOM YOU WERE THE ONE WHO BROKE HER FAVORITE VASE!"

"_YOU_ WERE THE ONE WHO BROKE IT!" his 'assistant' screeched back.

"YEAH, BUT WHO IS SHE MORE LIKELY TO BELIEVE, ME OR YOU?"

"ARGHH, _FINE_!"

Another moment passed, and Lathan walked back out into the street while looking quite satisfied with himself. Once back in front of the pirates, he cleared his throat and said, "As I was saying, I will now introduce to you the overwhelming power of my fellow bounty hunter and lovely assistant, Cal-"

An apple flew from the alley, beaning him in the head.

"Right, sorry," he apologized, rubbing the forming bump. He began again. "Blah blah blah overwhelming power of my fellow bounty hunter and lovely assistant,_ Callie_."

Callie stomped out of the ally, joining Lathan's side. She gave a short, bitter wave. "Hey. Apparently, I'm the lovely assistant."

"Hi!" Luffy greeted.

"It's you, my island angel!" Sanji declared, spinning around in _mellorine_ mode.. "Oh, how I've searched for you!"

"You know her, ero-cook?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow.

Callie grimaced. Oh great,_ this_ guy again.

Before anyone had time to blink, Sanji was next to Callie and holding her hand within his own.

"You misunderstand my intentions, Callie-chwan!" he gushed. "I simply wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier! I now understand I was coming on too strongly, so please forgive me!"

"Huh." Callie considered his words. "Well, I guess if you're apologizing that's okay- WAIT A SECOND! WHO SAID YOU COULD CALL ME 'CALLIE-CHAN?!'"

Zoro cleaned out his ear with his pinkie. Why did these people have to be so dang loud? They were like Nami crossed with a bullhorn.

"Would you prefer 'my island angel?' I'm flexible!" Sanji was beginning to look a little perverted. "In more ways than one."

Lathan rushed forward, promptly punching Sanji in the face. "HANDS OFF MY SISTER, PERVERT!"

Now Sanji realized why this guy looked familiar. It was a _family_ resemblance to his island angel. The perverted cook was sent skidding, not coming to a full stop until he was well behind his crewmates. The entire scene made Zoro burst out laughing at Sanji's pain. Callie laughed too, while at the same trying to curb her brother's rage.

"No way!" Luffy shouted, surprised. "This okama is your sister?"

What.

Callie stopped laughing. "Excuse me? Did you... did you just call me an _okama_?"

"She's an okama!" Sanji yelled, sitting straight up.

"Wow," Zoro said thoughtfully. "I couldn't even tell."

"I'm not an okama, I'm a real girl!" Callie snapped. "Why would you even think that, Straw Hat?!"

Luffy pointed at her. "You have a guy voice."

"My sister- I mean, my lovely assistant does not have a guy's voice!" Lathan argued. He crossed his arms. "If anything, she has _prepubescent_ guy's voice."

Luffy cocked his head. "What's prepubescent?"

"It means someone who hasn't hit puberty yet," Zoro explained.

"So... she's an okama who hasn't hit puberty yet?"

"Glad to know you got something out of that, captain."

While this inane conversation was going, Sanji stood up and started scolding his crewmates on how there was no way such a beautiful woman could be an okama, though the lecture went mostly ignored. Lathan kept trying to explain that Callie was indeed a woman, just a boyish-sounding one. Callie lowered her head, her bangs shielding her eyes.

"Lathan..."

"Yeah?" he replied.

"You should go chase after Straw Hat now."

"Why?"

She looked up. She had a pleasant smile on her face , but the vein throbbing on her forehead revealed her true emotions. "Because it'd be in your best interest, of course. Now, get going."_ Or else_.

Lathan broke into a sweat, and grinned nervously. "Oh yeah, right!" He turned towards Luffy. "Oi, Straw Hat! If you want to fight, follow me!"

"Yosh!" Luffy replied happily. "Zoro, Sanji, be sure to fight this okama girl! Otherwise you'd ruin the fun!"

That being said, Luffy broke into a sprint, chasing after the bounty hunter at breakneck speed. Zoro and Sanji immediately tried to follow their captain, but Callie stepped in front of them, blocking their path.

"Honestly, my brother is such a moron," she sighed, speaking to the two pirates as if they were friends she could complain to. "If he really wanted to get your captain's bounty, he should've arranged an ambush instead of vying for the theatrics." She glanced at the direction her brother and Luffy had gone. "Although, I would be interested in watching that fight."

"Why?" Zoro scowled. "You think Luffy will lose?"

"Oh heavens no. In fact, my money's riding on Straw Hat kicking his sorry butt from here halfway to Sabaody Archipelago. But sadly, unless I keep you two preoccupied, I'll never hear the end of it from Lathan." She stretched her arms. "So I'm going to get this over quickly, so I can finish my errands and go home. Somebody has got to keep Mother company while he's out being an idiot."

Zoro flicked one of his swords loose. "You really think we're going to let you take us down that easily?"

Callie gave him the 'bring it on' gesture. "Try me, grass stain. You just might be surprised."

Zoro was about to take her up on that, but Sanji gripped his wrist.

"No way mosshead!" Sanji barked. "There's no way I'm letting you hurt a girl."

"I'm not going to hurt her, I'm just going to knock her out of the way!" Zoro clarified. "Or unconscious. I'm good with either."

"Don't you dare!"

"Shove off, crap cook!"

"Get even more lost, crap swordsman!"

"Curlybrow!"

"Algae Brain!"

"Ashtray Breath!"

"Sword Freak!"

Callie got the strangest sense of deja vu observing this argument, but shook it off. "Um, then again, if you guys just want to take each _other_ out, I'm totally cool with that."

"Be with you in a moment, Callie-chan!" Sanji called out.

Zoro had enough. He took a step forward, partially unsheathing his Wado Ichimonji so the hilt went jabbing into the cook's stomach. Sanji doubled over, and Zoro took this chance to finally launch an attack on the girl before him.

Callie smirked. "So, we're finally getting started, huh?"

Zoro unsheathed two of his swords, Wado and Yubashiri (Sandai Kitetsu would be overkill), and ran towards Callie, who was not even making an effort to dodge. Zoro slashed towards her... and she calmly stepped out of the way.

_What the-_ Zoro thought.

"Wow, you're slow," Callie commented. "I thought you were supposed to be some all powerful swordsman."

Zoro attack again, this time from the side, but she once again sidestepped out of harm's way without so much as gaining a scratch. He attempted a rapid repetition of stabs to either side of her head, but all she had to do was step backwards and angle her head so she would not be pierced.

_I've seen this before_, Zoro thought after Callie managed to avoid getting cut in the stomach. _She's somehow predicting my movements before I make them. But where have I seen something like that before_?

He suddenly remembered. The people of Skypeia did something like this. Argh, but what was it called? Mantra or something like that?

"Are you done?" Callie asked, sounding bored. "I can tell you're not really trying. You're holding back because I'm unarmed, and going all out would be unfair."

Zoro responded by swinging at her legs. If he could stop her from moving, then he could end this. Callie countered by jumping in the air, and then performing a backflip by using his face as a launching pad. Zoro reeled back from the force. For someone so skinny, she was surprisingly strong.

"On the other hand, I'm holding back too," Callie admitted casually, as if she did not just use Zoro's face as said launching pad. "My heart's really not in this, and neither is yours. How about we call it a day before one of us gets hurt."

"Forget it," Zoro spat. "My captain said I had to fight you, so that's what I'm going to do. Besides, I want to know how you know how to use Mantra, witch."

At the word 'witch', Callie's face became downright murderous. "What. Did. You. Call. Me?

Zoro, before he could repeat that he had just called her witch, received a swift strong kick to the head. One guess to who it was.

"Damn it, mosshead! How _dare_ you attack an unarmed lady!"

If you guessed Sanji, you were correct.

"Damn it, dartboard!" Zoro roared back. "It's not like she's defenseless! She can do that Mantra thing the Skypeians could do! And why are you just _now_ getting up?!"

"Never mind that, stop trying cut Callie-chan with those stupid swords!"

"Hey! Only I'm allowed call my swords stupid, so don't you insult them!"

"You want a piece of me?!"

"Gladly!"

And thus began another bickering battle between the Straw Hat pirates' resident de facto first mate and sea cook, feet meeting swords in barrage of lightning-quick clashes. Callie viewed the quarrel, sweatdropping at their antics.

_I thought these guys were on the same side_, she thought, confused. _Whatever._ _Might as well take the opportunity to end this_...

Double checking that the two men were still distracted, Callie then slowly lifted her hands and clapped them once.

"_Samba Samba..._"

She jumped forward, getting between Zoro and Sanji.

Zoro froze in mid-parry. "What the-"

Sanji pulled back a kick. "Callie-chan, why-"

She thrust out her arms, her hands smacking both men on the cheek.

"_Tag_!"

Sanji and Zoro stumbled backward but didn't fall. They felt... strange. Callie's touch had left them with a weird tingling sensation that wasn't going away. It was steadily growing more and more unpleasant, and they could feel their muscles becoming stiff.

"You witch, what did you do to us?!" Zoro demanded.

"Don't call Callie-chan a witch!" Sanji scolded.

Callie turned around, an indifferent look on her face. "You boys should learn how to get along. And now..." She snapped her fingers. "_Fox trot_."

Zoro and Sanji bodies stiffened, and the next thing they knew, they were pressed up against each, Zoro holding out Sanji's arm and his other hand was on the cook's waist.

"Zoro, what the hell!"

"It's not me!"

The two pirates began to move, doing what could only be described as a fast-paced dance. And the scary thing was, they couldn't stop. Their bodies were moving on their own accord, and at the moment, they wanted to dance in the most humiliating way (for them) possible.

"Zoro, let go!" Sanji raged. "This looks weird!"

"I _can't_!" Zoro argued. "My body is moving on its own, and I can't stop it!" He glared at Callie, as he twirled Sanji. "What did you_ do_?!"

Callie crossed her arms. "What, you haven't heard the rumors of Calypso, the witch who lives on this island and gets her kicks by casting a dancing curse on visiting pirates? In case your tiny brain can't process a hint, that rumor refers to me."

"Curse..." Zoro scowled. Didn't Robin say something about that earlier this morning? But he'd been half asleep, so he didn't really hear her well.

"A curse?" Sanji echoed. "Calypso-chan, you mean I'm going to be stuck dancing with the mosshead _forever_?"

"Of course not," Callie, or Calypso, waved off the concern. "Even I'm not that cruel. It'll wear off and you can go back to trying to kill each other for all I care."

"When will it wear off?" Zoro asked as Sanji dipped him.

Calypso looked thoughtful. "Hmm. Good question."

"YOU DON'T KNOW?!"

"Well, in truth I've never stuck around long to see when it loses effect. Just take comfort in the fact it _will_ wear off... eventually." She turned around and began to walk away. "Bye now."

"GET BACK HERE!"

"DON'T YELL AT CALYPSO-CHAN!"

Calypso actually did stop walking, and turned around once again to face. "Oh, and one more thing." She pointed to the flower in her hair. "See this flower? It makes me look cute."

"That it does!" Sanji agreed enthusiastically.

"So what?" Zoro grunted, trying to maneuver himself so they'd dance towards her direction.

"So, since it makes me look _this_ cute, there's no way I'm a witch," Calypso explained, as if it were obvious. "Got it?"

"What kind of stupid logic is that?!"

"It makes perfect sense, crappy swordsman! Pay attention!"

Having said her piece, Calypso left the scene, and now only the two dancing pirates remained in the streets, performing the fox trot to unheard music. Zoro and Sanji try to fight the effect of Calypso's curse, but found themselves helpless. They continue to dance in silence for a few more minutes.

"...You know mosshead, this wouldn't be so bad if you weren't the one leading. Or if you were Nami-san."

"Just shut up."

* * *

*** xxxHolic anyone?**


End file.
